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Wednesday, 24 June 2009

Wishing the days away

Every day I commute to work. It’s a relatively long commute. I leave home at 6.25am and if I am lucky I get into work at 7.45am. In the evening if I leave at 5.15pm I can be home at 7.00pm.

That’s…………

3 hours and 5 minutes a day.
15 hours and 25 minutes a week
801 hours a year or 33 days

That’s………….

over a month each year just trying to get to and from my place of work.

And sure there are some upsides. I get to listen to music, read a book, think about my life, the universe and everything.
But there are also the downsides. Big steaming piles of downside.

1) Super sized people – if you can’t fit on one seat of the train and therefore take half of mine, pay for two. If not, squeeze yourself. This is your problem and not mine. Sorry, if its harsh, but its true.

2) Man trolleys - You know those bags on a stick that you drag behind you? They are wrong in so many ways. You are a human caravan. You are not allowed to overtake. Put yourself in the slow lane and get the fuck out of my way.

3) Backpacks - When you have one of these on, you take up more space…just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it isn’t pressed into my face. Think of yourself like Quasimodo…..get the picture?

4) Stupid ring tones - You are the only person in the world who would have “Pinball Wizard” as your ring tone, so why the hell have you not realised that and answered your phone. Are you really thinking “oh someone with the same taste as me?” Because there is no-one.

5) Smelly food – Wrong, wrong, wrong for so many reasons. You eat at a table. You wouldn’t do this in the theatre. You wouldn’t do this in the Doctor’s surgery. Don’t do this in a confined tubular human carrier.

6) Super sized headphones - It’s not cool, it’s stupid. These are portable devices. The clue is in the name. You need a separate man trolley for your headphones....that makes you an idiot on two counts.

I could go on, but I fear that I may alienate the remaining two non-American readers who survived the previous humour reference.

Maybe I need a holiday.

1 comment:

Corporate Daycare said...

I feel for you. I have a long commute as well, but have the luxury of being in a car, by myself. Some days I feel bad about the fact that I'm not taking advantage of public transportation, but then I read a list like the one you've made and say...screw that!

BTW - love the term "man trolley"