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Thursday, 2 July 2009

Welcome to the asylum

Today I’m striking out. I’m fed up. I’m fed up hearing how pathetic and pointless HR is.

Sure there are a lot of crap people in the profession. There are a lot of weak pointless individuals who are in HR because they “like people”. Really? Well go audition for Miss. World then and you can travel the world and meet lots of people….and if you are really good you might get to help the children too.

What’s that? You can’t? I forgot…..too ugly. Ugly, stupid and ineffective. That sums up about 90% of the profession.

But let’s be honest, look around you, the rest of them ain’t that good either…..

Finance – You count. That’s what you do. You count. It’s taught in school. My children can do it. Its not that fucking impressive is it? And particularly as you have computers the size of Peru to help you do it these days. You are as strategic as a lump of four week old cheddar found down the back of the fridge. And you count. Congratulations.

Marketing – Yep you know these guys. They were the ones at University always off their tits on something. Why do so many students want to work in Marketing? Because it’s easy. And because it’s about pretty pictures. Deep down you all want to be the writer or creator of the next big thing don’t you? But you’re not…..because you didn’t make it. You are as creative as a door knob. So go market. Promote stuff you didn’t make to people you don’t know. Sounds enriching.

Sales – Where to start, where to start…... Imagine a litter of Labrador puppies on amphetamines. Excitable, directionless, cute but ultimately ineffective. 99% of the time the person has already made a decision whether to buy or not. That makes about three days a year in which you actually achieve something. The rest of the time? You are as beneficial as fluff in the wind. Do you want a doggie treat?

Just a personal opinion, I mean….don’t take it seriously…..I’m only HR.

3 comments:

Fernandomando said...

Solid arguments for anyone to retrain into one of the professions.

class-factotum said...

Of course I can't find it online because it's been 18 years since I saw it, but I loved the cartoon my operations professor had on his door. It showed the professor saying, "Today, we are going to talk about making things." The one student leaned over to the other and said, "Things? I thought we were here to learn how to make money."

HRD said...

@Fernando - the professions are where its at....so I'm told. And they make your parents oh so proud...

@class-factorum -Thanks for posting. The truth is out there! And the guys that make the things always get paid less.